Stop Expecting. Start Accepting.

Yeah, it is going to be a bit lengthy, but it may turn your brain upside down!

I always complained about, ‘they are using me, they are taking advantage of me’. Let me tell you something. We allow someone to use us. Till when, how, is up to us. One more thing; we allow people to use us as we are dependent upon them. There may be many reasons like social, financial, emotional, physical and so on. We do not have the courage, also we do not want to displease them. Their approval matters the most. Peoples’ approval is like a big addiction. ‘ I want to please him/her, I’ll be ready to do anything which makes them happy, they’ll keep telling me what they expect and I’ll keep doing so as to make sure that they are not displeased. If they’re displeased, I’ll lose their approval.  And if I lose their approval, I lose the sense of my self worth i.e. self esteem. I feel good only if they approve me. If they say I’m nice, then I feel I’m nice. If they say I’m important, I feel important.’  Don’t worry, your secret is not disclosed. It is common!

I don’t know if this happens with everyone or not, but used to happen a lot with me. My sense of feeling good about myself became completely dependent on their approval and I couldn’t ever even try to displease them. Now turn the coin. Who is using and who is being used? Actually, I was using them, their each and every word to make myself feel good about me. Their words were nice. I was using them!

I always needed peoples’ appreciation, their words to make me feel good about myself as I wasn’t able to do it on my own. When I was a child, whenever relatives visited, asked me to perform things and commented ‘cho chweeet, cho cute, good girl’ and yes, that was when I started becoming dependent on opinions of others. I couldn’t ever take the risk of not being called a good girl. “If you do not perform, they’ll call you a bad girl. C’mon be a good girl and do it”. This is what my mother used to say and because of which, it got printed in my mind that if they say I’m good, I become good. If they say I’m bad. I become bad.

It is not just me. But I must say, I used to be like this, but not anymore. How well do people know us? Even if they know us like artery artery vein vein, tell me first thing, is it right for us? Second, is it comfortable for  us? Is it ok if our life is dependent upon peoples’ statements? ‘Please approve me’ used to be my deepest expectation, but, not anymore. I’ve accepted this fact that none can know me or judge me better than I can do it for me.

Yes, I needed someone to make me realize this. I hope this article is going to act like a guiding light for you all.

Good luck. Stop expecting, start accepting.